What relationships can be considered toxic? Those that do not make anyone happy or do not enrich partners spiritually. On the contrary, they lead to psychological problems – and exacerbate them up to mental disorders and physical ailments.
People spend years getting out of a toxic relationship – and before that, years to realize that have been even dealing with one. What alarms are worth paying attention to? This type of relationship has several standard symptoms.
Parasitism
Do you feel like a Chinese worker at a factory, who works day and night, and your partner at the same time seems to be completely satisfied with their life – realizing the childhood dreams, having fun, building a professional career, not particularly caring about the financial side of the work? This is never the case with Ukrainian brides, of course. Check why your partner chooses to live with you – for your personality or because of caring only for the conveniences that you create. Tell him or her that you are going to leave your high-paying job for a more modest but one where you can reveal your talents. Or tell them that you can no longer do all the house chores alone while they are willing to rest at the computer. The reaction of the partner will be more eloquent than any words.
Ridicules and constant quarrels
“He is a kind man; he just has a peculiar sense of humor.” “Don’t pay attention to her; she’s just joking.” How many excuses we are ready to come up with for the person we love, even if they spoil our mood with cruel jokes and quarrel every day! Meanwhile, such relationships can be toxic in the truest sense: neurophysiologists have found that constant social stress leads to increased production of two proteins in the body that provoke inflammation and metabolic disorders. Constantly clarifying relationships with a partner or relatives can lead you to depression, heart ailments, and even cancer. Think about whether this is an adequate fee to live with this person.
Inability to talk about problems
If your partner does not want to hear what you need to change something, this suggests that they are quite comfortable. However, if you feel a problem and do not want to tolerate it, it is a sign of a disbalance. When one is annoyed, and the other is not at ease – you should find a compromise. Such relationships will get poisoned by the misunderstanding and unwillingness to hear each other – the inability to reach out to a partner leads to despair and a feeling of a life impasse. When you cannot get things off your chest, sooner or later you will burst with everything at once.
Self-hatred and unhappiness
One of the main consequences of getting stuck in a web of toxic relationships is a growing dissatisfaction with yourself: when a person next to you constantly underestimates you, you sooner or later begin to think that they are right, and you are a useless, dull, and hopeless person. Sometimes the psyche tries to tell us that we are on the road to disaster. For example, researchers have found that many girls who suffer from anorexia hear an “inner voice” that guides their actions. This inner voice often impedes their healing, engaging in an illusory “conversation” on gloomy and bleak topics. Psychologists decided to find out what this voice mainly talks with them – for this purpose, they studied the letters, diaries, and literary works (stories and poems) of patients. And they were surprised to learn that the voice was discussing the relationship. And more often than not girls didn’t reach out to a partner but complained to a mother, close relatives, or friends because the loved person was the initial source of negativity. And it is these toxic relationships that are the most important reason for the development of anorexia in patients.
Manipulation
What makes a person remain in a toxic relationship, even if they have long understood that this is a trap? Fear of being alone, as a study conducted by Canadian psychologists has shown. It is thanks to this fear that men and women continue to live with partners who are slowly destroying their identity. The important point is that the toxic partner most often feels (or even realizes) the fear of the other half and tries to use this feeling to demand more and more new conditions, on which they are ready to remain in this union. Power, as you know, spoils: the stronger your dependence on a toxic partner, the more impudent and selfish they will behave.
If at least one sign you can associate with your own situation in your personal life, you should talk with your partner. And if negotiations do not bring you the desired results, feel free to leave. These relationships are now doomed to failure. It makes no sense to drag an old car in the hope that it will start running after a couple of hundred miles.